Nepenthe

 

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Friday, April 07, 2006

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I've been too busy (and depressed) to write lately. The Wellbutrin seems to be working somewhat, but I probably need to increase the dose. I'm only taking 150 units now to check for side effects and efficacy. The standard dose is 300. I like to take the least amount possible, so I'm giving the 150 a chance. I'm not sure if my continued, though lessened, crying and insomnia are "normal" or still signs of depression. I'm tired of taking pills and tired of being depressed. Which leaves me in something of a pickle.

Sunday I woke up with a kinked neck and it's been sore all week. Maybe I sprained it. I've never had a sore neck last a whole week. Course I haven't rested it at all; that might have something to do with it. A co-worker recommended a good massage therapist, so I'm going to contact her and see if I can get an appointment this weekend.

My husband is playing at Mr. T's on the 24th. It's not with his band; he's sitting in on drums for a singer-songwriter friend of ours. So he'll be rehearsing over the next few weeks.

We're going to see The Black Rider at the Ahmanson, Grendel at the Dorothy Chandler, and Salome at the Wadsworth. It's going to be a busy spring.

I'm doing really well in my Statistics class. I got perfect scores on all the tests so far. I'm waiting to find out if I've been accepted at CSUN. Everyone else is confident I'll get in, but I still worry.

At my doctor's office last week (a follow-up on my meds) they weighed me. 123 lbs. I'm back to my 30-yr-old, pre-Paxil weight. I have another appointment in a couple weeks. Maybe I'll have lost even more by then. I'd like to get to 120. Funny, when I was this weight the first time around I thought I was too heavy. Now that I've worked back to it I like it. I've read that it's pretty typical for women to not realize how beautiful they are in their 20s until they're in their 30s. Guess I'm pretty typical. Fortunately, I've also read that women are at their most beautiful in their mid-30s. Apparently 36 is the magic number. Something to look forward to.