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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Oh my goodness, what a long hiatus. I've been through another depression. At first I didn't notice it, because it comes on slow and steady, but my husband made it pretty clear to me the other day that it kills him to see me like this. It's like watching someone you love drowning and knowing you can't do anything to help. He's pretty reticent, so for him to let loose like that means it must be really, really bad. The very next day I made an appointment to see my doctor. I'm going in on Monday to get back on antidepressants. I guess I went off them too soon. Depression is kinda like high blood pressure in that it will get progressively worse if not treated, and it requires both medication and lifestyle changes. Though I have made some life changes and done a round of talk therapy, it just isn't enough. I still need the medication. My main concern, which caused me to avoid going back on the meds even when it was pretty clear I needed them, was the concomitant weight gain. I put on ten pounds last time. I've finally realized that my weight is not the issue here. It is better to be round and healthy, than thin and suicidal. My husband loves me either way, and he would rather I wasn't in so much pain. I'm beginning to think of it as an allergy to life. I take Zyrtec for my nasal allergies, and now I'll take Paxil (or the like) for my life allergies.

Now, to more rote business. We went to ArthurBall the other week. What a scene. I'm surprised they let us in without a Hipster Cred membership card. First we had an early dinner at Taix (mmm, french onion soup). We saw Tarantula A.D. and Morris Tepper (with PJ Harvey sitting in on bass), both of which I enjoyed. Afrobeat Down was pretty cool. I was nonplussed by Town & Country. The 5:15ers were kinda pointless and average. We left after a few seconds of Indian Jewelry, which was absurdly loud (like Waco loud). All in all it was an okay time. Everything was just so ... typical. Very tragically hip.

Thursday we went to the Hammer Museum to see a program in association with the Masters of American Comics exhibition - the Kramer's Ergot Night. Oddly, we haven't actually seen the exhibition itself yet. Anyway, there was an interview of Sammy Harkham, a presentation by Souther Salazar, a reading by Jordan Crane, and an incredible performance by Shary Boyle. I went for Jordan, but most enjoyed Shary and Souther. Shary just blew me away. If you haven't seen her, you must.