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Friday, June 27, 2003

I am not a Smoker. I do not need to smoke. I'll be with friends, drinking, and some of my friends are Smokers so they'll be smoking and I'll decide I want one, too. So I'll bum one. They don't mind, we're all generous people. But I was at the liquor store picking up a lotto (shut up, it could happen!) when I noticed they carried Dunhill. Ooh, that's fancy. Fancier than the Camel's and Marlboro's my friends smoke. Sure would be nice to have my own that I choose instead of taking whatever I can get.

I have a guy friend who's the same way. He's also a Libra. Just every now and then, he'll feel like smoking. On the flip side, occassionally smoke will bother me. Like last weekend we were waiting outside for a table at Russell's for breakfast and a guy was smoking. I didn't like it so we stood further away. Most of the time smoke neither bothers nor entices me.

I first smoked in high school, junior year I think, no wait, maybe sophomore. Sorry, I'm really bad with linear time. I never chain smoked. The most I ever smoked was a whole pack one month when I was 18 or 19. The rest of the time a pack gets stale before I get even half way through. Sometimes I don't feel like smoking for months, a year even, and then out of the blue I will. One pack will last me like a year at least (which is why I rarely buy them). So why not get fancy ones and make it a luxury like it's s'posed to be? I'm keeping them in a plastic baggie in the freezer, same like my coffee, so they'll keep fresh longer. The Dunhill's are wrapped in two packs of 10, which should also help with the freshness.

My husband got upset with me. No, he said "disappointed". Because he thought this meant that I decided to smoke all the time now. Even though I never have before. My husband hates smoking. The real problem, I think, is that his ex-girlfriend is a Smoker and was throughout their relationship. I convinced him that this isn't a sign of a behavioral change on my part. I'm not going to be a Smoker. I think he's okay with it, at least as much as he can be.

(I'm distinguishing people who need to smoke and do so all the time as Smoker with a Capital S.)